Why I Won’t Be Your Tinder Unicorn


It’s not because I’m not down for threesomes.

I have had several excellent threesomes in my day, with partners and friends. I generally find them to be a lot of fun. There’s things you can do with three people that you can’t do with two. It can be really cool to see how everyone’s dynamics shift and change and interact with each other’s. I like watching and being watched. And of course, there’s always the excitement of seeing who gets to be in the middle.

It’s not because I’m not down for casual sex.

For me, sex doesn’t have to be tied up in romance. I’ve had sex with friends and acquaintances, and sometimes it can be freeing to know that this is just playtime, without any serious expectations attached. A good no-strings hookup is sometimes just what the doctor ordered for flirty fun.

It’s not because I’m not down to date established couples.

I have dated individuals who are in open relationships. I have dated two people who are also dating each other. It can be intimidating to know that your new crush is a married woman, or that there’s years of experience and history between these two people that you’ve just met. It can also be cool, because you can get let in on inside jokes, and one person can give you the cheat codes on how the other person likes to be fucked, and the previously-established patterns can be comfortable and easy even if they’re new-to-you.

It’s because I only fuck people I like, and you have given me nothing to go on.

You don’t mention what kind of music y’all like, or what hobbies you have. You haven’t told me what kind of dates you want to take me on, or what tv show will be playing in the background while we bang. What kind of tea do you like? Did you cry at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy 2? Will you go salsa dancing with me? What’s your favorite novel? Give me some indication that I’ll actually have a good time with you.

It’s because I suspect you have no idea how ethical nonmonogamy works.

Did y’all talk about this first? Like, at all? Because there’s only pictures of one of you. Or because you say you’re looking for a third, but don’t tell me your girlfriend’s name.  Ethical monogamy is all about honesty and communication, not springing things on your partner or hiding information from a potential new partner. You talk about “adding” someone to your relationship or “looking for a girl who’s willing to explore new things” which makes me think you have no idea what you’re doing. Please do some reading first, and then get back to me.

It’s because you’re not looking for a person, and I am a person.

Your whole profile is just “looking for hot female to have fun with.” I don’t care if you’re a man, woman, nb, straight couple, queer couple, or a veritable coven of hot babes: that’s an unacceptable Tinder profile. I’m not just a “hot female” who will waltz into your life, fill the slot labeled “unicorn,” give you a sexy threesome to remember and then disappear into a puff of smoke, without ever wanting to have a conversation or an orgasm. That person doesn’t exist, because want you really want is a sex object.

So no, I won’t be your Tinder unicorn.



To Be a Better Domme in 2018


I wanted to make some sex and kink goals for the new year, to give myself some things to aspire to go in my personal life. I like the idea of setting intentions for one’s life, and deliberating what you want to do. As I was thinking about it, I realized that most of my goals have to do with coming into my role as a Domme, figuring out who I am when I’m in that role, and learning how to be a better Domme. Here are three domly things I want to focus on in 2018:

1. Rope skills.

I am still but a baby beginner rigger. I want to learn more knots and ties to add to my repertoire of domly abilities. I want to get more practice tying actual humans, because I have hardly any experience in that area. The only way to get good at something like this is to do it over and over again, so that’s what I want to do. I’d like to get good enough to do some fun rope scenes with partners this year.

2. Sadism.

I’ve always been really attracted to a caretaking style of dominance. I fully identify as a Mommy. I love getting to fulfill a submissive’s needs and have a bit of a service top streak. However, I also have a budding interest in pain. I want to experiment with the kind of dominance that’s more focused on doing what I want, with taking sadistic pleasure out of playing with someone and watching their reactions. I want to experiment with the different ways I can cause someone good pain, and see what I get out of it.

3. Confidence.

I have some genuine domly impulses. I also have a buttload of anxieties. Like a lot of people, domming can make me nervous because I’m worried about messing something up. It can also feel like there’s a lot of pressure to orchestrate everything perfectly. That shit stresses me out. I want to get more confident in my identity as a dominant, and work on feeling more comfortable in that role. It’s important to be careful with one’s submissive, but it’s also important to chill the fuck out. I want to learn to be the kind of dom that knows what they’re capable of and can go for it.

Hopefully I get to explore all of these exciting domly things in the upcoming year! Do you have any kink or sex goals for 2018?



The Best of 2017

Best of 2017

I feel like 2017 has gone so fast. It seems as though hardly any time has passed since I was writing my 2016 wrap-up. This time last year, I was at the tail end of a serious long-term long-distance monogamous relationship that was slowly dying. My sex life this year has been all about beginning to actively practice polyamory and getting to exercise my switch-ness with different partners with whom I have different dynamics. It’s been a wonderful year of exploration, and I’m really happy with how poly is working out for me.

One of my goals for 2017 was to publish at least 36 blog posts. Including this one, I published 39 blog posts in 2017, and I’m really excited about having met that goal. Another of my goals was to write more personal posts, and hoo boy did I. Here’s some of my posts from the past year that I’m really proud of:

  1. On Ballroom Dance, Domspace, and Platonic Power Exchange: This was one of my most popular posts this year, and I’m so happy that it resonated with other kinksters. Kink and power are so integral to the way that I experience the world that they sometimes bleed into other areas of my life. This post is about how partner dance can be an act of power exchange, the importance of being in the right headspace for an activity, and the amazing motivational power of brats.
  2. Fanfiction Roundup: Gangbangs: I started a new regular feature this year called fanfiction roundups, in which I recommend a bunch of good smutty fanfics centered around a particular theme. Smut is a great way to explore something like gangbangs, which are particularly hot but can be difficult to explore in real life. That’s one of my favorite things about written sexy material.
  3. The Daddy Diaries: Mommy Domme: Speaking of written sexy material, here’s a throwback to that time I tried to write about what I get out of being a Mommy Domme and accidentally wrote porn with feelings. This year I did a series called The Daddy Diaries where I talked about Daddy/Mommy kink, why I like them, and what I get out of both my Mama and little girl roles. I’m not sure if my Mama feelings are what people liked about this post or if y’all just really enjoy pegging porn, but either way I’m proud of this piece.

Another of my goals for 2017 was larger toys, and I’m so incredibly proud to say that I have breached the 2″ diameter mark. I am still just a baby size princess (to borrow a term from the wonderful Lunabelle) but it’s been weirdly gratifying to achieve greater and greater sizes. One of my other goals was to try more vibes, which I just didn’t do very much of. The Magic Wand Rechargeable has yet to be usurped as the reigning monarch of my toy collection. I’d still love to review lots of vibes in 2018: my kingdom for a vibe that actually fits in my purse and gets me off!

Of the dozen-odd toys that I acquired in 2017, the Tantus Adam Super Soft is far and away my favorite.  I was thrilled when Tantus started to release their Super Soft line, because I adore soft squishy dildos and they can be hard to find. I was lucky enough to get to review four Super Soft dildos this year. Of those, I adore the Adam and Destiny, and I continue to use them all the time. The Adam has become my go-to for penetration because of its comfortably big size, wonderful squishyness, and perfect curve, and the Destiny is perfect for when I want something bigger or more G-spot-y.

What were y’all’s favorite toys this year? Did you meet any sex-related goals?


Tantus Goliath Super Soft Review

Goliath SS 1

I will never, ever tire of reviewing Tantus Super Soft toys. Soft silicone is my jam, it’s my very favorite for insertable toys. And Tantus makes super high quality toys in lots of awesome designs, so it’s a match made in heaven for me. Today, the Super Soft dildo in question is the Goliath Super Soft!

The Goliath has a moderately bulbed head, quite a bit of veiny texture, and a straight shaft. It has a good bit of squish, comparable to the Vamp Super Soft. For some reason, both of those toys are not nearly as squishy as my Adam Super Soft, even though they’re all made by Tantus, supposedly out of the same kind of silicone. Here’s the thing: I can sorta feel the veins. The silicone is pretty soft, but the veins are very prominent, so they’re still noticeable. They’re just not nearly as “sit up and pay attention” noticeable as something like ridges. My vagina is not very sensitive to texture, and sometimes I just won’t feel it unless I focus on it. For real texture fiends, I recommend the firm version of the Goliath. I don’t see myself getting that one, though, as I strongly prefer softer silicone. For folks who are more sensitive to and like texture, the Goliath Super Soft will probably be your kind of party.

Goliath SS 2

Here’s another thing: I really like dildos with curves. Usually my favorite toys have gentle curves, like my beloved Adam Super Soft. For the way that my vagina and pubic bone are configure, a slight curve really makes my life easier and my vagina more comfortable. Completely straight toys, like the Goliath Super Soft, are just always going to be more difficult to insert. As always, your mileage and preferences may vary, and you might strongly disagree with me. Personally, the very straight shaft of the Goliath just doesn’t do it for me.

The head on the Goliath is a bit odd, because it’s almost a large bulbous head but then the shaft is just about as big. This gives in a bit of a “pops in, locks in” situation, but not the the degree of, say, the Destiny Super Soft. It also doesn’t really do the G-spotting thing, because the head just isn’t bulbous enough and the shaft doesn’t have that G-spot curve. The biggest things that the Goliath has going for it are the girth and the texture. I did enjoy leaving the Goliath in me and coming around it, cause I like having a big squishy thing to clench on during orgasm. (The Goliath has a max width of 1.75″, which is a pretty common size for my toys these days.) Unfortunately, the girth plus straight shaft does not lend itself to thrusting, and I can’t feel the texture unless the toy is moving.

Goliath SS 3

As of right now, the Adam remains my favorite out of Tantus’ Super Soft line (and also out of everything else). I recommend the Goliath Super Soft to anyone who wants to try lots of texture in a slightly gentler way, doesn’t need a curve, and is comfortable thrusting toys of this size and shape. If you want a Goliath Super Soft of your very own, you can pick one up here!

The Goliath Super Soft was sent to me by Tantus in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. Thank you, Tantus!

On Size Kink and Being a Short Domme

On Size Kink

I’ve never dommed anyone smaller than me.

Part of this is just statistics. In a world of humans, I am on one end of the bell curve. (At least, the bell curve for the United States.) Part of this is that at this point in my life, I really haven’t dommed that many people. It’s partially a numbers thing. But it is a thing.

Like many kinky humans, I have a bit of a size kink. It’s not as big of a kink for me as it is for some of my friends, but I’d be lying if I said it’s not there. “Big human overpowers small human” feeds right into my love of power exchange. I also love feeling small in comparison to my dom, something which often gives me heckin little feels.

And yet, here I am, shorter than most people I know, carrying around some domly impulses. Maybe I had to find a way to fit those two things together so that my brain didn’t explode from the contradiction.

The way I found is sort of an inverse size kink. Sure, the bigger person in traditional size kink has the physical power to pick up their sub and throw them down. I’m not saying I’d say no to that, from either perspective. But it’s also an incredible rush to know that someone could pick me up and throw me off them if they wanted to, and instead, I am in complete control.

I am in love with willful surrender. I am enamored by submission as a deliberate choice. I am thrilled by the idea that this person wants to be mine and wants to be controlled. There’s also a sort of perverted psychological aspect to it. When the dynamic is strong enough, it no longer matters who could beat who in a wrestling match. They have given me such psychological power over them that their physical strength is no longer of any consequence.

Maybe this is just a rationalization, a way of dealing with the contradictory notions that I love big doms and yet am a small dom. But hey, it really does it for me. I like being tiny and yet completely, utterly in charge of people who are supposed to be more powerful than me. Especially big dudes.

One of my exes was a wonderful person who was also a switch like me, and happened to be quite a lot taller than me. When he was feeling little, he would crawl into my lap and remind me for all the world of a big dog like a German Shepard who still wants to be a lap dog and love on you. It was the sweetest thing. He couldn’t get all the way into my lap. When I was the big spoon, my head rested somewhere around his shoulder blades. But I could still make him feel small, and held, and protected.

Being a short woman, I’m not most people’s idea of a powerful and domly body type. I could try to get around that. I could try to feed into my size kink by searching for people smaller than me. (There aren’t a ton of them, but they do exist.) Instead, I want to embrace it. I want to run at it full throttle and shove it in people’s faces and laugh at how wrong they are. I love the inversion of it. I love turning all expectations on their head. I love domming people who are bigger than me.

My (Fictional) Type

my fictional type

In real life, I don’t think I have too much of a type. I love nerds. I love people who are crazy passionate about stuff, especially when we share the same crazy passions. Other than that, there aren’t really any patterns. This is not the case for my favorite fictional characters: all the characters I have crushes on are pretty much the same.

I love flawed characters. I love the long redemption arc, the struggle towards true change. I love the bad boy who chooses good in the end. I love the character that is selfish and violent, that makes poor choices.

My favorite characters do all the wrong things for all the right reasons. They take the ugly, messy solution that all the more righteous characters are trying to find a way to avoid. They’re not afraid to cut the knot in half with their sword and damn the consequences. My favorite characters aren’t afraid to be the bad guy in order to save our heroes. They will do whatever has to be done in the name of love. They will commit mass murder for the sake of their loved ones. They will make a deal with the devil to protect their family, whether that family is blood-related or not.

My fictional type falls in love with goodness. They are on the outside looking in, because they can’t help but be captivated by true goodness. They long for the goodness in their love interest that they cannot find in themselves. Through striving to do good for this person, they truly change their own hearts. In the end, they will die for their love.

They are the skeptic drunkard who rise for the revolution after all. They are Grantaire standing to die with Enjolras, saying “Long live the revolution!” and more importantly, asking “If you will permit it?”

They are the traumatized survivor of the Holocaust who can no longer trust in the goodness of the other. They are the leader whose love for their friend cannot stop them from doing what they think they have to do to save that friend. They are Magneto declaring that humans and mutants can never live in peace, and that Charles Xavier is a fool. They are Magneto saying “Goodbye, old friend.”

They are the fallen prince stumbling his way towards the light, failing and backtracking and eventually succeeding. They are Zuko desperately vying for his father’s approval. More than that, they are Zuko telling his father that he no longer needs it, telling his father that he is betraying him and leaving to follow his own path. They are Zuko at his coronation, getting the thing he’s always wanted, deferring the credit to others.

They are the vicious vampire who loves being a vampire. They are the broken and fallen brother. They are Damon returning a necklace to Elena even though it is a symbol of her love for his brother, a love which he believes he can never deserve.

They are a demon tormented by a soul, a soul and a torment that they chose in order to be worthy of the only thing they’ve ever been sure of. They are Spike saving Sunnydale, grinning through the pain and saying “I wanna see how it ends.”

They are Jaime Lannister saving Brienne from the bear pit and burning Cersei’s letter. They are Cesare Borgia stabbing his brother, giving in to temptation, and saving Rome through deceit. They are Klaus Mikaelson mourning his child and damning his own narcissism.

I love flaws and pain and redemption. I love broken characters who redeem themselves in the end. I have a fucking type.


Twin Tail Creations Mocha Review


The lovely Mocha the Dragon from Twin Tail Creations was a birthday present to myself. It’s my second knotted dildo! TTC is a rad fantasy toy company that originally caught my eye with their unique Avian design, but then I fell in love with this knotted beauty in fabulous nebula coloration, and I just had to have it. I admit, I am swayed by pretty silicone!

I got Mocha in size Mini and Medium firmness. There are three bigger sizes, but Mini was the only one I knew I could conquer. The thing with knotted toys, is that in order to get the knot inside of you, you have to be able to take not just the girth of the knot, but also the whole length of the toy. This can make ordering larger sizes a bit tricky for short-vagina’d folks like me, especially when the knot is at the very bottom! As for firmness, TTC’s medium is pretty comparable to toys like the Vamp Super Soft from Tantus’ Super Soft line: rather squishy, with some resistance, not floppy. The Mocha has lovely scale detailing on the base and a bumpy ridge going down on one side of the shaft. I fully appreciate the dragon aesthetic. Sadly, my vagina is not very texture sensitive and I can’t feel the bumps in use.


I am slowly delving farther and farther into the world of knotted dildos, and so far, I think they’re pretty great. It’s a fairly similar sensation to popping in a bulbous head, but a little bit different because there’s already something inside of you.

The tapered head and gently sloped knot make this toy pretty easy to insert. I suspect that a much more dramatic knot would be a real challenge for me. As it is, I get a bit of a pop and a nice sense of fullness without a great deal of effort, which is lovely. (I kinda want to try a more challenging knot, but that’s a post for another day!) The Mocha is pretty easy to leave in because there’s enough space below the knot for me to get the knot past my pubic bone. That way, my vaginal opening can relax around the smaller part at the bottom, instead of trying to contend with a big knot.

As with other toys that have a knot or bulbous head, I find it difficult to thrust much with the Mocha and prefer to mostly leave it in there, clench around it, and come on it.  I really like the sensation of orgasm around a knot because it makes the muscle contractions feel so much more intense. It sort of concentrates them in one area. It also prevents my vagina from pushing the whole toy out during orgasm, which has been known to happen when a toy has the same girth all the way down!


Mocha was a lovely second step into the world of knots. It’s a beautiful and refreshingly new take on a fantasy knotted dildo, and was clearly designed with the comfort of vaginas everywhere in mind. I highly recommend Mocha if you like knotted dildos that aren’t too extreme, or if you’re curious to see what this whole knot thing is about and try one out for the first time.

You can find Mocha the Dragon and other great fantasy toys at Twin Tail Creations!

On Maybe Having a Shoe Fetish


I swear to god I don’t have a shoe fetish. At least, I thought I didn’t. You see, I’ve never been much of a shoe person. I have an aesthetic appreciation for them, sure, but I’ve never been one to collect as many shoes as possible, and that appreciation has never been erotically charged. I guess it’s partially because shoes are connected to feet. Feet are decidedly neutral for me- they don’t usually squick me out but I also don’t particularly want them in my sex life. And I have very strong feelings that feet should not go anywhere near my mouth.

Except, on my second date with the lovely woman I am currently dating, a thing happened. We were hanging out with some friends, drinking a bit, and we decided to play strip poker. My girlfriend was wearing a pair of gorgeous thigh high suede boots with stiletto heels. Due to the nature of the game, she eventually had to take them off and she asked for my assistance. My drunken ass dropped to the ground immediately and reverently unzipped them. Now that was erotically charged.

More recently, my boyfriend stayed over way too late- until 4am. We were trying to convince each other that he ought to leave, instead of continuing to cuddle, and he said “I really ought to put my shoes on and get going.” I paused for a second. “Would you like some help with that?” I replied. He gave me a look before saying “Yes.” I went and fetched his shoes from the other side of the room and kneeled in front of where he’s sitting. I blushed and hid my head in his lap because the whole thing is just a little embarrassing.

Then he told me that he did need to leave, and if he didn’t know better he’d think I was trying to keep him longer. I responded “I’m not trying to find an excuse to keep you, I just really do like serving you.” Then he smiled and told me “The job’s not done, little girl.” Carefully, gently, I rolled his sock onto his foot. Softly, he said “Now the other one.” I place his socks, then his shoes, onto his feet one by one. Just like with an actual little girl who wants to help, the whole process is much slower than if he had just done it himself. Having completed my task, I looked up at him from my place on the floor, smiling. He looked away and said “I have some feelings about that.” So do I.

Since that happened, my boyfriend and I have talked about it a little bit. He told me that he should make me lace up his leather boots sometime. And yes, absolutely yes, I want to do that. He also suggested I polish his boots, and then later said I should polish them with my tongue. I melted inside, because I’d been daydreaming about licking his boots but I didn’t want to be too weird. I also want to actually polish his boots- get shoe polish and a rag and make sure I get them bright and shiny and beautiful. I would be meticulous and careful and my Daddy would watch me from up above and tell me what a good job I’m doing.

I think polishing might be exactly the kind of repetitive physical motion that puts me into a meditative state, like sewing or kneading dough or giving a blowjob. My brain finds things like that very soothing, and the repetition combined with attention to detail just quiets my mind. I can just see myself getting so absorbed in that task that the whole world melts away, leaving only me, my Daddy, and the task that he’s set for me.

It’s interesting to me that I knew about bootblacking as a fetish before this, but I had never seriously considered it. I didn’t think it applied to me. It’s fascinating to me how my feelings about a kink or sex thing can change so dramatically once it’s reframed. Context is everything, and in a service context, suddenly the idea of licking someone’s shoes sounds very appealing to me. I’m going to take this as my occasional reminder from the universe that sexuality is fluid, and sometimes, you just gotta roll with suddenly developing a shoe fetish you never thought you’d have.

On Submission and Shame

submission and shame

I believe firmly in sex-positivity. I know that your sexuality is okay, and that you should do whatever you want as long as everyone is consenting and you aren’t causing any true harm. I know that your kink is okay.

I believe in bodily autonomy, and that people should do precisely what they want with their own bodies, including their sex organs. As long as the above conditions are met, whatever you want to do in your sex life is good and fine and your business. You should do what makes you happy.

I believe that willful submission is an act of autonomy. It is an exercise in independence and strength. Actively choosing to cede control to another person is a show of power. It is strong, and it is powerful. It is not passivity. I know that it is okay to want to submit to someone.

So why am I still so goddamned ashamed of myself?

I’m a kinky person. I’m also a switch, I like both dominating and submitting. I like all sorts of weird shit that I find difficult to explain to people who don’t share my kinks. Usually, I’m completely cool with that. I’m allowed to hate cottage cheese, and you’re allowed to love cottage cheese. We may never understand each other, but we are both completely valid and fine. The same rule applies to kinks, and sex acts more generally.

Power exchange is really core to my sexuality. Some of the things I like doing, I enjoy less for their own sake and more for their ability to facilitate power exchange. Pretty much everything I’m into is in some way related to power. The only things that make me feel deeply ashamed, that make me feel guilty and wrong, all have to do with submission. Things like wanting to serve, to be owned, to be used. A part of me still feels like this is wrong and I’m not sure why.

Maybe it’s because I’m so scared of being dependent on another person. I have pretty severe trust issues, and I never want to be in a situation where I have to depend on another human for money, shelter, or emotional stability.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been taught that I have to be strong. I’m supposed to be enough for myself, I’m supposed to be able to face the world alone. I’m supposed to be able to take whatever is thrown at me and keep on kicking. I don’t want to feel like I have to lean on someone in order to be okay. Since my kinks focus so heavily on caretaking, there’s a huge conflict there.

I think this is one of those situations where it’s easier to be kind to others than it is to be kind to yourself.

I believe in those things I said at the beginning. I believe in sex-positivity, and bodily autonomy, and that there is power and beauty in willful submission. I know that when friends come to me scared that they are wrong or broken, I tell them that their kink is okay. I believe that too.

If I was a friend of mine, I would tell them that their desires are just fine. I would tell them that the roles we enact in kink scenes don’t have to translate to the rest of our lives if we don’t want them too. I would tell them that we can want one thing in our kink lives and a different thing in our daily lives, for balance. I would tell them that no human gets through this world by themselves, and it’s okay to need to lean on each other sometimes.

I hope that someday I believe me.

Tails and Portholes Abyssal King Review

abyssal king 3

Sometimes I get to take people on tours of my toy collection. I love getting to talk about my favorites, explain why I like them so much, and just get really excited about a thing I really like. The past three times I’ve done this, the person in question has picked up the Abyssal King, looked at it, and asked “What is this supposed to be?” Last time, I shrugged and said “Interesting.”

The toy that has confused so many friends of mine is the mini size of the Abyssal King, made by Tails and Portholes, a dildo maker on Etsy. It’s definitely an unusual design, which is why I was so excited to try it. It looks almost like the spine or ribs of some creepy, bony creature, which is just a tad macabre in a way that I find very aesthetically pleasing.

abyssal king 2

This is a pretty short, fat dildo. Above, you can see it next to the Tantus Echo, another toy with lots of ridges. The Echo is taller, thinner, has fewer and deeper ridges, and is much firmer than the Abyssal King. (Keep in mind that I do have the Mini size in Soft firmness, and a Medium and Large size both exist, as does a Firm firmness.) The Mini Abyssal King is 4.5″ long with a 5.5″ circumference, for reference. I love getting surprise colors from indie shops, and this one turned out so pretty! It’s a rich blue and gold that seems rather fitting for a king of the deep seas.

One of my favorite things about fantasy toys is that you get to try out weird new shapes. This is certainly an odd one! Tails and Portholes has a bunch of weird heads on their toys, and I’m into it. The shape took some getting used to, as it’s sort of wide and curves  all the way around. The best comparison I have for the shape is a pear, which is frankly kinda weird. Just know that instead of having a traditionally phallic shaft, it’s much fatter and rounder. The girth is pretty well within my comfort zone, but the shape and ridges made it a bit trickier for me to insert sometimes. Once in there, I did appreciate the extra sensation of fullness from having it be kinda wide on the sides. The short length didn’t bother me because I have a pretty short vagina even on a good day. It is something to keep in mind, cause your mileage may vary.

I prefer to use the Abyssal King with the ridges facing the front of my vagina. You may remember that I’m a fan of ridges for G-spot action, and the Abyssal King can definitely deliver. In the softer silicone, it’s less of an intense digging in and more of a “oh hey, focused pressure, that feels nice.” I tend to thrust the Abyssal King a lot in order to get that sensation, and I was able to do that fairly easily by holding onto the base.

abyssal king 1

You would probably like the Abyssal King if you like short wide toys, ridges, unusually un-phallic shapes, unique designs that are reminiscent of deep sea creatures, beautifully colored silicone, and supporting rad small businesses.

If you want to pick up a mini Abyssal King of your own, you can find one at Tails and Portholes’ Etsy store here!

The Abyssal King was sent to me free of charge in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. Thank you, Tails and Portholes!