Three Things I Learned From a Year of Non-Monogamy

year of nonmonogamy

About a year ago, my boyfriend at the time and I broke up, ending a pretty serious monogamous relationship. In the year since it happened, I feel like I’ve changed and grown a lot. One of the biggest changes for me was moving to a non-mongamous lifestyle. Non-monogamy has been tremendously fulfilling for me, and in retrospect, I’m very glad I made the switch. Here are three things I learned about myself and how I do polyamory in the past year:

I should only sleep with people I like.

The thing about not really experiencing attraction is that it can be easy to say “hey, why not?” Because we have nothing in common, that’s why not! I don’t tend to enjoy sex with people I’m not that into, so I don’t do that any more. This means that I have fewer partners than I did before, but I have way more fun with the partners I do have. Rejecting monogamy doesn’t mean rejecting selectivity- just because I’m allowed to do something doesn’t mean I have to do it. I’m gonna have way more fun with a fellow kinky nerd who loves high fantasy and musical theatre than I am with some rando I just met with whom I have nothing to talk about.

Time management is crucial.

I do a lot of things: I’m in college, I have a part time job, I run this blog, I’m in a student organization, I have to shower occasionally. I’m also currently dating three people. That’s a lot of commitments to juggle. It can be really tricky for me to make sure that I’m managing my romantic relationships, my platonic relationships, and my self care without letting important things like my education fall by the wayside. For me, what works is making commitments and sticking to them, whether that’s going on dates that I’ve agreed to or honoring the time I’ve set aside for studying. It’s important not to let my academic life steal all my time from my love life, or vice versa.

Romantic time commitments are no morally different from any other time commitment.

One way that I like to frame polyamory is that I respect my partners’ commitments and responsibilities. If they’re working, spending time with their best friend, doing a hobby that they love, repairing their car, whatever it is, I understand that they have a life apart from me. I honor their time doing other things. I don’t think of it as time stolen away from me somehow, because I don’t feel entitled to their entire life. Once I rejected that poisonous lesson propagated by certain schools of thought about monogamy, it was easy for me to incorporate my partners’ partners (my metamours) into that framework. I can also honor my partners’ commitments to their other lovers, and plan around them the way I would plan around their work schedule or their D&D night.

Here’s hoping that the next year brings even more polyamorous happiness and growth for me!

 

 

 

Advertisements

Pink B.O.B. Bliss Rechargeable Wand Review

bliss wand 1

Hello lovelies! This week I’m reviewing the Pink B.O.B. Bliss Rechargeable Wand, a wand vibrator that was sent to me by the lovely folks at Too Timid. My love for wand vibrators is well known- I love the broad stimulation and sheer power- so I was super excited to try out the Bliss Rechargeable Wand.

First off, I’m afraid I have to address the name: “B.O.B.” stands for “battery operated boyfriend,” which I find to be a painfully inaccurate term for vibrators. Sex toys are not replacements for partners. That’s not how this works. I can’t see how this name does anything other than contribute to stigmatizing myths about sex toys. Also, not everyone who uses your products wants a boyfriend. I am fully opposed to this term.

Now that that’s out of the way, I can move on to the actual vibrator in question, which I actually quite like.

The Bliss Wand is significantly smaller than the Magic Wand Rechargeable, and extremely lightweight in comparison, which makes it much easier to maneuver and carry around in my purse. Although the head is also proportionately smaller, in use I didn’t really register a size difference because it’s still plenty broad enough for me. The copy on the website really hypes up the curved handle but it made no difference for me: in use I really couldn’t tell it was there because I tend to hold my wands further down.

The Bliss Wand did not come with an instruction manual, which I find quite odd. Partially because of the lack of instruction manual, I have absolutely no idea how long it takes to charge. I can’t tell when it’s done charging because the light which turns on when you plug it in just glows red forever. The Bliss Wand retails from the Pink B.O.B. website for about $50 cheaper than MWR, which is awesome. As a Broke College Kid, I totally appreciate the difference $50 can make in terms of someone’s ability to buy a good sex toy.

The buttons are in the opposite order of the MWR, which took some getting used to, but I fully admit that’s purely a personal problem. Also as a matter of preference: this wand has lots of patterns, but I don’t like patterns, so I don’t use them. The patterns button is separate from the intensities button, making the patterns easy to avoid, which I really appreciate.

There are 8 intensities that go from high to low and back again for some strange reason. I prefer the very lowest setting because it’s the most rumbly, so I always have to click all the way through the settings to find it.

bliss wand 2

Personally, I definitely need the lowest, rumbliest setting, and I prefer to use it through blankets or clothing. This thing is intensely powerful, and is reminiscent of the Original Magic Wand on its highest settings- which is not my jam, but is unquestionably some people’s.

Because it’s not as rumbly, I was able to keep it on my clit the whole time I was having an orgasm. This is actually really nice. With the MWR I almost always have to pull it away as soon as I come because it’s so intense- it’s really overstimulating during my hypersensitive period right after orgasm. With the Bliss Wand, it can kind of work me through the aftershocks, which is lovely.

On the lowest settings, it’s not nearly buzzy enough to put me off- my clit does sometimes feel a little bit rubbed raw from repeated or prolonged use, but it didn’t give me any numbness or itching that cheap battery-operated vibes always do.

The Bliss Wand is rather loud- it’s a bit more noisy than my MWR. The sound is almost completely muffled when pressure is applied, like when it’s on my bits. This seems odd to me, but I am clearly not an expert in vibrator engineering, and I appreciate the muffling effect.

Overall, I think the Bliss Wand is worth its price tag. You would probably like the Bliss Wand if you like broad stimulation, enjoy powerful mid-line rumbly/buzzy vibrations, need something lightweight, or are looking for a rechargeable wand for a bargain. You can pick one up here!

I was sent the Pink B.O.B. Bliss Rechargeable Wand in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. Thanks, Too Timid!

 

How Do I Be Friends With Men?

how do i be friends with men.png

I feel like I don’t know how to be friends with men. This must be a personal failing of mine, because I firmly believe men and women can be friends. They can be friends, and remain platonic, and nobody needs to be secretly harboring crush feelings or pants feelings, or be strictly gay. So why can’t I seem to be platonic friends with the men in my life?

How do you interact with men without assessing the romantic potential of the relationship? I do this thing where when I like someone, I ask myself “Is this a friend like or a sexy like?” I don’t think that’s too weird, especially since I don’t generally experience burning attractions. I have to think about it for a bit. But I admit that I only sometimes do this with women, and I feel like I always, always do it with men. I don’t know how to interact with men without feeling like I’m constantly reading the tea leaves.

My friendships with men, historically, tend to turn into more than that. I never learned how to be friends with men. I learned how to flirt with them. I learned how to make myself marketable to them. I learned how to avoid them, how to attract them. How to give them a soft “no” so they won’t kill you. How to please them. How to take care of them. How to make myself into something they want. How to date them. How to kiss them. How to fuck them. How to love them. But never how to be friends with them.

When I was a kid, I sometimes did that thing where I decided to have crushes on boys. (Lots of young afab queers do that.) I just picked a boy and went “I’m supposed to have crushes on boys, therefore I have a crush on that one.” I learned how to perform heterosexuality the way my culture wanted it performed. That did not involve befriending men.

I’ve gotten a lot better in recent years. I think part of it has to do with seeing men as people, and with being seen as a person by them. Our culture sets men and women up as diametrically opposed opposites, and rationally, I know that’s absolute baloney. But those sorts of lessons can be hard to let go of. It’s hard to stop seeing men as some terrifying or glorious other. I think the key here, as in so many things, is understanding other people as truly and fully human. It can be so hard, though, when the world has been divided up into categories and certain behaviors and values have been assigned to those categories.

I still have a lot of personal learning to do. There’s a lot of messages for me to unlearn, and new  lessons for me to replace them with. I wish my culture had taught me the right lessons in the first place. But I do believe that I can learn them, and I hope my culture can too.

 

Are You a Cat-Person or a Dog-Person?

collar and leash

“If you were an animal, what animal would you be and why?”

I am in a job interview, sweating slightly in my skirt suit. I want to present myself in the best light, but my answer comes easily.

“I’d probably be a domestic cat,” I reply. “I’m pretty independent. I’m also an introvert, so like a cat, sometimes I want to be around people and sometimes I do my own thing.”

The interviewers nod and scribble on a clipboard. If not the most unique or inspiring response, I at least managed to come up with an acceptable answer.

It did seem to fit: I’m a bit of a homebody, I like naps, I like my own space. I would definitely be a domestic animal, not a wild one, cause I’m just not that adventurous. Indoor cats get taken care of, they get to do their own thing, and they get luxuries like temperature controlled housing that I’m quite fond of.

I like being petted and cuddled. I can totally see myself doing that cat thing where they plop on someone’s lap, having decided that they want attention. Then later, they abruptly leave to play with yarn or roll around in a patch of sun, because they’ve had quite enough attention, thank you very much.

I happen to be a lady type person, and cats get coded as feminine and dogs as masculine, even though that’s silly and rather arbitrary. I’m also a cat person; I’d rather own a cat than a dog. I tend to get along with cats better because we understand each other. If anything, I’m probably a cat.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I think you’re more of a dog,” my boyfriend tells me.

I blink. Nobody’s ever said that to me before, considering my aforementioned general homebody-ness, love for cat naps, and preference for cats as pets.

“What makes you say that?” I ask him.

“Well, you love being petted. You’re obedient. You like being led around on a leash. You love being called a good girl. You’re always excited to see your Master. Heck, you even wag your tail.”

I mull this over in my mind for a long time. All of those are true things. I tend to think of it as “happy butt wiggles,” but admittedly, I do sort of wag my tail when I’m excited. The honorific “Master” has never resonated with me cause I’m just not that into Master/slave, but somehow it’s okay when it’s in a pup context.

I’d never thought of myself as a dog or a puppy. I haven’t done much pet play in my life, being much more drawn to a little girl persona when I’m subby. When I did do pet play in the past, I wasn’t really drawn to a specific animal persona. He does tend to bring out those pup-type traits in me, though. I mentally poke at the idea, wondering how I feel about it.

~~~~~~~~~~

I guess that’s how I find myself in this position, crawling around on the floor in a collar, with him leading me around by a leash.

“Good girl,” he tells me, and I melt and let out a little whine. I lick his hand and wag my tail, and he chuckles softly, patting me on the head. “What a good girl pup you are.”

I smile, content to sit at his feet and be petted. I’m so happy to get tugged around, and praised for obeying orders, and, best of all, loved on. I nuzzle my head into his lap, thinking that perhaps I’m more of a dog person than I thought I was.

Help! There’s Something Immoral In My Smut!

immoral smut

Buckle in, folks, cause today we’re going to talk about ethics in written smut!

I get off on a lot of things that would be unquestionably horrible if they were to happen in real life, but which turn me on in an imaginary fantasy context. I was inspired to write this post because there’s a long standing exhausting debate in many fandoms that basically boils down to this question:

Is it okay for your fanfiction smut to contain things that are morally unacceptable?

One line of this argument that I often hear has to do with Young People on the Internet. This is especially relevant to fandoms of content that is ostensibly intended for children, but is also consumed and enjoyed by adults. It’s also a topic that comes up in fandoms where the characters are canonically minors.

First question: Is it acceptable for kids on the internet to see this content?

If it’s on the internet, kids are gonna find it. So one side of the argument goes like this: Young people learn a lot of their lessons about sexuality from the media they consume. This media includes fanfiction. Media that presents things like abusive behavior or violence as romantic or sexy (I’m looking at you, Twilight franchise) can be incredibly damaging to young people who receive and internalize those messages. Therefore, fanfiction authors have a responsibility to not write that kind of content, especially where kids can easily read it and get the wrong ideas.

Kids definitely get idea about sex from the media they consume; lord knows I did. There’s also no question that these messages can get them to believe harmful things. I am far from the first person to point out that messages like “he’s mean to you because he likes you” or “true love won’t take no for an answer” can have terrifying and very real consequences.

On the other hand, kids have been exposed to cultural messages regarding sexuality long before they find fanfiction. Additionally, fanfiction archives like Archive of Our Own have elaborate tagging systems which allow readers to avoid or to find explicit content, depending on their preferences. So at least in the realm of fanfiction, there isn’t a lot of thrusting these types of smut on people who aren’t down for it.

Furthermore, let’s not pretend that teens never have sexualities or an interest in sex. Reading fanfiction can be a way for young people to explore their sexuality on their own in a way that feels safe, and I am loathe to bar them from that. Some of those kids are going to grow up into kinksters like me, and I would rather educate them about how to play with kink safely than try to hide it from them entirely.

Second question: Is it acceptable to police the sexual fantasies of others?

Another side of the argument goes like this: It’s a fantasy, of course I don’t condone this behavior in real life. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to.  Stop dictating to people  what they can and cannot get off on (especially women on the internet, who make up the majority of fanfiction writers).

When it comes to the question of policing other’s fantasy lives, I lean strongly towards “no.” It is very important to remember that when we take our own fucked up private fantasies, write them down, and put them on the internet, they do have the potential to harm the people who read them. However, I don’t think the answer is to not have these fantasies, or to not share them. I think the answer is closer to content warnings and specific corners of the internet for these types of content. We want to let people know what they’re getting into and give them the ability to opt out.

This is much less of a cut-and-dry issue than I want it to be, and this post can’t possibly cover all the existing discourse around it. I hope that this has nevertheless been a nuanced discussion of a complicated topic. In the end, I believe in the importance of sexual freedom and that we should exercise that freedom in ways that cause the least amount of harm possible.

Baby’s First Paddle

paddle 1

One of the things on my wishlist for 2017 was my very first paddle. While no stranger to impact play of various kinds, I had never owned a real honest-to-god paddle of my own. Way back in February, I took the leap and bought one.

I was lucky enough to get some excellent advice from esteemed kinkster and blogger extraordinaire Kate Sloane. She suggested that I look on Etsy for a small-ish wooden or Lexan paddle as my first impact toy. Her reasoning was that something small and firm would be easier for me to control as a new impact top, and I would be less likely to accidentally injure someone. Kate also mentioned that thicker and heavier paddles would create a more thuddy sensation, where thinner, lighter ones would sting more.

The paddle I got is from RN Woodcraft on Etsy. It’s 12″ long and 3/4″ thick, and designed to look like a rounded wooden hairbrush. (If a paddle that’s only a foot long seems small to you, please remember that I am 5’4″.) It’s made of purpleheart wood, and I confess that I picked it over the other hairbrush style paddles in the shop because of its lovely reddish color.

While I like getting hit with it, it’s not my favorite type of impact to receive. When swung forcefully enough, the flat side of the wood can feel vaguely reminiscent of doing belly flops into a swimming pool. I think that’s because the paddle has a fairly wide surface area, but still manages to sting a good deal. I don’t have a very high pain tolerance and prefer thuddy to stingy impact, so I find it difficult to take hard hits from this paddle. It does provide a more intense beating than someone’s hand, though, which is sometimes something I’m craving.

Where this paddle shines for me is as a top. I’m really glad I listened to Kate’s advice on this one, because learning how to use it went so smoothly. I love the way it fits perfectly in my grasp; the handle is thin enough for my admittedly small hand to hold it comfortably. It’s easy for me to use because it feels like a natural extension of my hand. It makes sense, I’ve always preferred weapons I know I can control and wield with accuracy. With practice, I’ve gotten better at aiming my hits and gauging their intensity, but it’s been a pretty intuitive learning process.

Since getting my first paddle, I’ve discovered that I really like giving over the knee spankings with a paddle: I can hold my partner close to me and pet them and kiss them while still giving a much more intense beating than I can with my bare hand. This strongly appeals to my Mama Domme tendencies. I hope to acquire more paddles and a variety of other short-range impact implements that I can use this way.

Getting my first paddle felt like a rite of passage. My paddle is a kink tool with a practical use, but it’s also symbolic. It says “I am enough of a kinkster to invest in nice impact toys.” I look forward to slowly building a sizeable collection of lovely hitty things!

Why I Won’t Be Your Tinder Unicorn

unicorn

It’s not because I’m not down for threesomes.

I have had several excellent threesomes in my day, with partners and friends. I generally find them to be a lot of fun. There’s things you can do with three people that you can’t do with two. It can be really cool to see how everyone’s dynamics shift and change and interact with each other’s. I like watching and being watched. And of course, there’s always the excitement of seeing who gets to be in the middle.

It’s not because I’m not down for casual sex.

For me, sex doesn’t have to be tied up in romance. I’ve had sex with friends and acquaintances, and sometimes it can be freeing to know that this is just playtime, without any serious expectations attached. A good no-strings hookup is sometimes just what the doctor ordered for flirty fun.

It’s not because I’m not down to date established couples.

I have dated individuals who are in open relationships. I have dated two people who are also dating each other. It can be intimidating to know that your new crush is a married woman, or that there’s years of experience and history between these two people that you’ve just met. It can also be cool, because you can get let in on inside jokes, and one person can give you the cheat codes on how the other person likes to be fucked, and the previously-established patterns can be comfortable and easy even if they’re new-to-you.

It’s because I only fuck people I like, and you have given me nothing to go on.

You don’t mention what kind of music y’all like, or what hobbies you have. You haven’t told me what kind of dates you want to take me on, or what tv show will be playing in the background while we bang. What kind of tea do you like? Did you cry at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy 2? Will you go salsa dancing with me? What’s your favorite novel? Give me some indication that I’ll actually have a good time with you.

It’s because I suspect you have no idea how ethical nonmonogamy works.

Did y’all talk about this first? Like, at all? Because there’s only pictures of one of you. Or because you say you’re looking for a third, but don’t tell me your girlfriend’s name.  Ethical monogamy is all about honesty and communication, not springing things on your partner or hiding information from a potential new partner. You talk about “adding” someone to your relationship or “looking for a girl who’s willing to explore new things” which makes me think you have no idea what you’re doing. Please do some reading first, and then get back to me.

It’s because you’re not looking for a person, and I am a person.

Your whole profile is just “looking for hot female to have fun with.” I don’t care if you’re a man, woman, nb, straight couple, queer couple, or a veritable coven of hot babes: that’s an unacceptable Tinder profile. I’m not just a “hot female” who will waltz into your life, fill the slot labeled “unicorn,” give you a sexy threesome to remember and then disappear into a puff of smoke, without ever wanting to have a conversation or an orgasm. That person doesn’t exist, because want you really want is a sex object.

So no, I won’t be your Tinder unicorn.

 

To Be a Better Domme in 2018

2018

I wanted to make some sex and kink goals for the new year, to give myself some things to aspire to go in my personal life. I like the idea of setting intentions for one’s life, and deliberating what you want to do. As I was thinking about it, I realized that most of my goals have to do with coming into my role as a Domme, figuring out who I am when I’m in that role, and learning how to be a better Domme. Here are three domly things I want to focus on in 2018:

1. Rope skills.

I am still but a baby beginner rigger. I want to learn more knots and ties to add to my repertoire of domly abilities. I want to get more practice tying actual humans, because I have hardly any experience in that area. The only way to get good at something like this is to do it over and over again, so that’s what I want to do. I’d like to get good enough to do some fun rope scenes with partners this year.

2. Sadism.

I’ve always been really attracted to a caretaking style of dominance. I fully identify as a Mommy. I love getting to fulfill a submissive’s needs and have a bit of a service top streak. However, I also have a budding interest in pain. I want to experiment with the kind of dominance that’s more focused on doing what I want, with taking sadistic pleasure out of playing with someone and watching their reactions. I want to experiment with the different ways I can cause someone good pain, and see what I get out of it.

3. Confidence.

I have some genuine domly impulses. I also have a buttload of anxieties. Like a lot of people, domming can make me nervous because I’m worried about messing something up. It can also feel like there’s a lot of pressure to orchestrate everything perfectly. That shit stresses me out. I want to get more confident in my identity as a dominant, and work on feeling more comfortable in that role. It’s important to be careful with one’s submissive, but it’s also important to chill the fuck out. I want to learn to be the kind of dom that knows what they’re capable of and can go for it.

Hopefully I get to explore all of these exciting domly things in the upcoming year! Do you have any kink or sex goals for 2018?

 

 

The Best of 2017

Best of 2017

I feel like 2017 has gone so fast. It seems as though hardly any time has passed since I was writing my 2016 wrap-up. This time last year, I was at the tail end of a serious long-term long-distance monogamous relationship that was slowly dying. My sex life this year has been all about beginning to actively practice polyamory and getting to exercise my switch-ness with different partners with whom I have different dynamics. It’s been a wonderful year of exploration, and I’m really happy with how poly is working out for me.

One of my goals for 2017 was to publish at least 36 blog posts. Including this one, I published 39 blog posts in 2017, and I’m really excited about having met that goal. Another of my goals was to write more personal posts, and hoo boy did I. Here’s some of my posts from the past year that I’m really proud of:

  1. On Ballroom Dance, Domspace, and Platonic Power Exchange: This was one of my most popular posts this year, and I’m so happy that it resonated with other kinksters. Kink and power are so integral to the way that I experience the world that they sometimes bleed into other areas of my life. This post is about how partner dance can be an act of power exchange, the importance of being in the right headspace for an activity, and the amazing motivational power of brats.
  2. Fanfiction Roundup: Gangbangs: I started a new regular feature this year called fanfiction roundups, in which I recommend a bunch of good smutty fanfics centered around a particular theme. Smut is a great way to explore something like gangbangs, which are particularly hot but can be difficult to explore in real life. That’s one of my favorite things about written sexy material.
  3. The Daddy Diaries: Mommy Domme: Speaking of written sexy material, here’s a throwback to that time I tried to write about what I get out of being a Mommy Domme and accidentally wrote porn with feelings. This year I did a series called The Daddy Diaries where I talked about Daddy/Mommy kink, why I like them, and what I get out of both my Mama and little girl roles. I’m not sure if my Mama feelings are what people liked about this post or if y’all just really enjoy pegging porn, but either way I’m proud of this piece.

Another of my goals for 2017 was larger toys, and I’m so incredibly proud to say that I have breached the 2″ diameter mark. I am still just a baby size princess (to borrow a term from the wonderful Lunabelle) but it’s been weirdly gratifying to achieve greater and greater sizes. One of my other goals was to try more vibes, which I just didn’t do very much of. The Magic Wand Rechargeable has yet to be usurped as the reigning monarch of my toy collection. I’d still love to review lots of vibes in 2018: my kingdom for a vibe that actually fits in my purse and gets me off!

Of the dozen-odd toys that I acquired in 2017, the Tantus Adam Super Soft is far and away my favorite.  I was thrilled when Tantus started to release their Super Soft line, because I adore soft squishy dildos and they can be hard to find. I was lucky enough to get to review four Super Soft dildos this year. Of those, I adore the Adam and Destiny, and I continue to use them all the time. The Adam has become my go-to for penetration because of its comfortably big size, wonderful squishyness, and perfect curve, and the Destiny is perfect for when I want something bigger or more G-spot-y.

What were y’all’s favorite toys this year? Did you meet any sex-related goals?

 

Tantus Goliath Super Soft Review

Goliath SS 1

I will never, ever tire of reviewing Tantus Super Soft toys. Soft silicone is my jam, it’s my very favorite for insertable toys. And Tantus makes super high quality toys in lots of awesome designs, so it’s a match made in heaven for me. Today, the Super Soft dildo in question is the Goliath Super Soft!

The Goliath has a moderately bulbed head, quite a bit of veiny texture, and a straight shaft. It has a good bit of squish, comparable to the Vamp Super Soft. For some reason, both of those toys are not nearly as squishy as my Adam Super Soft, even though they’re all made by Tantus, supposedly out of the same kind of silicone. Here’s the thing: I can sorta feel the veins. The silicone is pretty soft, but the veins are very prominent, so they’re still noticeable. They’re just not nearly as “sit up and pay attention” noticeable as something like ridges. My vagina is not very sensitive to texture, and sometimes I just won’t feel it unless I focus on it. For real texture fiends, I recommend the firm version of the Goliath. I don’t see myself getting that one, though, as I strongly prefer softer silicone. For folks who are more sensitive to and like texture, the Goliath Super Soft will probably be your kind of party.

Goliath SS 2

Here’s another thing: I really like dildos with curves. Usually my favorite toys have gentle curves, like my beloved Adam Super Soft. For the way that my vagina and pubic bone are configure, a slight curve really makes my life easier and my vagina more comfortable. Completely straight toys, like the Goliath Super Soft, are just always going to be more difficult to insert. As always, your mileage and preferences may vary, and you might strongly disagree with me. Personally, the very straight shaft of the Goliath just doesn’t do it for me.

The head on the Goliath is a bit odd, because it’s almost a large bulbous head but then the shaft is just about as big. This gives in a bit of a “pops in, locks in” situation, but not the the degree of, say, the Destiny Super Soft. It also doesn’t really do the G-spotting thing, because the head just isn’t bulbous enough and the shaft doesn’t have that G-spot curve. The biggest things that the Goliath has going for it are the girth and the texture. I did enjoy leaving the Goliath in me and coming around it, cause I like having a big squishy thing to clench on during orgasm. (The Goliath has a max width of 1.75″, which is a pretty common size for my toys these days.) Unfortunately, the girth plus straight shaft does not lend itself to thrusting, and I can’t feel the texture unless the toy is moving.

Goliath SS 3

As of right now, the Adam remains my favorite out of Tantus’ Super Soft line (and also out of everything else). I recommend the Goliath Super Soft to anyone who wants to try lots of texture in a slightly gentler way, doesn’t need a curve, and is comfortable thrusting toys of this size and shape. If you want a Goliath Super Soft of your very own, you can pick one up here!

The Goliath Super Soft was sent to me by Tantus in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. Thank you, Tantus!