Wow. So I’ve been doing this sex blogging thing for like a year now. In some ways, that’s a long time to stick with a project. In other ways, it hardly feels like any time at all. On June 20th of 2016 I decided to finally take the leap and launch my own blog. I had been voraciously devouring sex blogs since the previous November, and had created my own sex-positive Twitter that April. I wanted to do more. I had thoughts and opinions and a great love for this online space, and wanted to stretch my writing muscles. And I’m so glad I did.
Sex and sex positivity might be an unusual thing to be a nerd about, but one of my very favorite things about being a blogger is getting to be in a community with people who are just as weird as me in similar ways. I am passionate about comprehensive sex education, soft silicone dildos, access to contraception, spanking, lube safety, daddy kink, and destroying the stigma around sex. Getting to write about these things and get feedback from people who are just as passionate as me is such an honest simple joy. My favorite memories of this year of blogging involve other bloggers: getting fantasy toy sizing recommendations from Lunabelle, discussing pet play with Curious Kitt and the Chameleons, shouting about daddy kink with Taryn. Nerds love being around other nerds, and sex nerds are no exception.
Besides the community, my other favorite thing about sex blogging is honestly the writing itself. I hadn’t realized, before I started blogging, how much I missed getting to write things that were just for me and not for school. When I was younger, I wrote a lot of poetry. I loved doing that. I loved making the words fit together, I loved shaping the lines so that they fit, I loved the musicality of the words and their rhythm, I loved how I could paint pictures and create feelings with my words. I fell out of practice with it. Blogging feels like rekindling that old love of words and writing and creation, just in a different way. I’m an artist, and I’m so much happier when I get to be doing some kind of creative work.
I’ve learned a lot from this year of blogging. First: blogging is not a get rich quick scheme. Yes, I knew this before, yes, I had heard other bloggers say this. What they hadn’t said is that the money-making side is its own work on top of the work of writing and upkeep, and it’s time consuming and tedious and if you’re busy you might not be able to do it. What they hadn’t said is it’s completely easy to do this for a year and not earn any money whatsoever, that you probably will only get very little recognition, that you shouldn’t expect any success at all. What they hadn’t said is that’s not the only reason to do this, that even though there’s a focus on monetization, even though writing is work and bloggers do deserve to be compensated if they do any work for your company, there is also great satisfaction in writing something that you’re proud of and that you care about and sending it out into the world. Money isn’t the only measure of success, even if capitalism keeps trying to tell us it is. You’re allowed to be proud of your art and feel accomplished even if you never make a dime off of it. You’re allowed to love your art for the process of creating it and not for what it brings you later. Don’t do this for the money. Do it because you love the topic and the writing, or don’t do it at all.
Secondly, on a related note: don’t compare yourself to other people. Especially not people who have been doing this for years and are much more experienced than you. Also, in the weird world of the internet, sometimes some people go viral very quickly and experience a lot of success while the rest of us are still trudging along. That’s okay, and it doesn’t make you a bad person. I got much happier when I decided to focus hard on my writing and making it wonderful instead of on the number of Twitter followers I have.
I’m so glad I decided to do this weird crazy blogging thing. And I’m glad I decided to stick with it through my own doubts, fears, and insecurities, and not give up on myself. I’m not sure how long I’ll want to be blogging, but I hope I’m in it for the long haul. I want to keep writing. I want to stay in this corner of the internet for a while. I hope I can make it a little bit brighter and better while I’m here.