The Best of 2017

Best of 2017

I feel like 2017 has gone so fast. It seems as though hardly any time has passed since I was writing my 2016 wrap-up. This time last year, I was at the tail end of a serious long-term long-distance monogamous relationship that was slowly dying. My sex life this year has been all about beginning to actively practice polyamory and getting to exercise my switch-ness with different partners with whom I have different dynamics. It’s been a wonderful year of exploration, and I’m really happy with how poly is working out for me.

One of my goals for 2017 was to publish at least 36 blog posts. Including this one, I published 39 blog posts in 2017, and I’m really excited about having met that goal. Another of my goals was to write more personal posts, and hoo boy did I. Here’s some of my posts from the past year that I’m really proud of:

  1. On Ballroom Dance, Domspace, and Platonic Power Exchange: This was one of my most popular posts this year, and I’m so happy that it resonated with other kinksters. Kink and power are so integral to the way that I experience the world that they sometimes bleed into other areas of my life. This post is about how partner dance can be an act of power exchange, the importance of being in the right headspace for an activity, and the amazing motivational power of brats.
  2. Fanfiction Roundup: Gangbangs: I started a new regular feature this year called fanfiction roundups, in which I recommend a bunch of good smutty fanfics centered around a particular theme. Smut is a great way to explore something like gangbangs, which are particularly hot but can be difficult to explore in real life. That’s one of my favorite things about written sexy material.
  3. The Daddy Diaries: Mommy Domme: Speaking of written sexy material, here’s a throwback to that time I tried to write about what I get out of being a Mommy Domme and accidentally wrote porn with feelings. This year I did a series called The Daddy Diaries where I talked about Daddy/Mommy kink, why I like them, and what I get out of both my Mama and little girl roles. I’m not sure if my Mama feelings are what people liked about this post or if y’all just really enjoy pegging porn, but either way I’m proud of this piece.

Another of my goals for 2017 was larger toys, and I’m so incredibly proud to say that I have breached the 2″ diameter mark. I am still just a baby size princess (to borrow a term from the wonderful Lunabelle) but it’s been weirdly gratifying to achieve greater and greater sizes. One of my other goals was to try more vibes, which I just didn’t do very much of. The Magic Wand Rechargeable has yet to be usurped as the reigning monarch of my toy collection. I’d still love to review lots of vibes in 2018: my kingdom for a vibe that actually fits in my purse and gets me off!

Of the dozen-odd toys that I acquired in 2017, the Tantus Adam Super Soft is far and away my favorite.  I was thrilled when Tantus started to release their Super Soft line, because I adore soft squishy dildos and they can be hard to find. I was lucky enough to get to review four Super Soft dildos this year. Of those, I adore the Adam and Destiny, and I continue to use them all the time. The Adam has become my go-to for penetration because of its comfortably big size, wonderful squishyness, and perfect curve, and the Destiny is perfect for when I want something bigger or more G-spot-y.

What were y’all’s favorite toys this year? Did you meet any sex-related goals?


Tantus Goliath Super Soft Review

Goliath SS 1

I will never, ever tire of reviewing Tantus Super Soft toys. Soft silicone is my jam, it’s my very favorite for insertable toys. And Tantus makes super high quality toys in lots of awesome designs, so it’s a match made in heaven for me. Today, the Super Soft dildo in question is the Goliath Super Soft!

The Goliath has a moderately bulbed head, quite a bit of veiny texture, and a straight shaft. It has a good bit of squish, comparable to the Vamp Super Soft. For some reason, both of those toys are not nearly as squishy as my Adam Super Soft, even though they’re all made by Tantus, supposedly out of the same kind of silicone. Here’s the thing: I can sorta feel the veins. The silicone is pretty soft, but the veins are very prominent, so they’re still noticeable. They’re just not nearly as “sit up and pay attention” noticeable as something like ridges. My vagina is not very sensitive to texture, and sometimes I just won’t feel it unless I focus on it. For real texture fiends, I recommend the firm version of the Goliath. I don’t see myself getting that one, though, as I strongly prefer softer silicone. For folks who are more sensitive to and like texture, the Goliath Super Soft will probably be your kind of party.

Goliath SS 2

Here’s another thing: I really like dildos with curves. Usually my favorite toys have gentle curves, like my beloved Adam Super Soft. For the way that my vagina and pubic bone are configure, a slight curve really makes my life easier and my vagina more comfortable. Completely straight toys, like the Goliath Super Soft, are just always going to be more difficult to insert. As always, your mileage and preferences may vary, and you might strongly disagree with me. Personally, the very straight shaft of the Goliath just doesn’t do it for me.

The head on the Goliath is a bit odd, because it’s almost a large bulbous head but then the shaft is just about as big. This gives in a bit of a “pops in, locks in” situation, but not the the degree of, say, the Destiny Super Soft. It also doesn’t really do the G-spotting thing, because the head just isn’t bulbous enough and the shaft doesn’t have that G-spot curve. The biggest things that the Goliath has going for it are the girth and the texture. I did enjoy leaving the Goliath in me and coming around it, cause I like having a big squishy thing to clench on during orgasm. (The Goliath has a max width of 1.75″, which is a pretty common size for my toys these days.) Unfortunately, the girth plus straight shaft does not lend itself to thrusting, and I can’t feel the texture unless the toy is moving.

Goliath SS 3

As of right now, the Adam remains my favorite out of Tantus’ Super Soft line (and also out of everything else). I recommend the Goliath Super Soft to anyone who wants to try lots of texture in a slightly gentler way, doesn’t need a curve, and is comfortable thrusting toys of this size and shape. If you want a Goliath Super Soft of your very own, you can pick one up here!

The Goliath Super Soft was sent to me by Tantus in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. Thank you, Tantus!

On Size Kink and Being a Short Domme

On Size Kink

I’ve never dommed anyone smaller than me.

Part of this is just statistics. In a world of humans, I am on one end of the bell curve. (At least, the bell curve for the United States.) Part of this is that at this point in my life, I really haven’t dommed that many people. It’s partially a numbers thing. But it is a thing.

Like many kinky humans, I have a bit of a size kink. It’s not as big of a kink for me as it is for some of my friends, but I’d be lying if I said it’s not there. “Big human overpowers small human” feeds right into my love of power exchange. I also love feeling small in comparison to my dom, something which often gives me heckin little feels.

And yet, here I am, shorter than most people I know, carrying around some domly impulses. Maybe I had to find a way to fit those two things together so that my brain didn’t explode from the contradiction.

The way I found is sort of an inverse size kink. Sure, the bigger person in traditional size kink has the physical power to pick up their sub and throw them down. I’m not saying I’d say no to that, from either perspective. But it’s also an incredible rush to know that someone could pick me up and throw me off them if they wanted to, and instead, I am in complete control.

I am in love with willful surrender. I am enamored by submission as a deliberate choice. I am thrilled by the idea that this person wants to be mine and wants to be controlled. There’s also a sort of perverted psychological aspect to it. When the dynamic is strong enough, it no longer matters who could beat who in a wrestling match. They have given me such psychological power over them that their physical strength is no longer of any consequence.

Maybe this is just a rationalization, a way of dealing with the contradictory notions that I love big doms and yet am a small dom. But hey, it really does it for me. I like being tiny and yet completely, utterly in charge of people who are supposed to be more powerful than me. Especially big dudes.

One of my exes was a wonderful person who was also a switch like me, and happened to be quite a lot taller than me. When he was feeling little, he would crawl into my lap and remind me for all the world of a big dog like a German Shepard who still wants to be a lap dog and love on you. It was the sweetest thing. He couldn’t get all the way into my lap. When I was the big spoon, my head rested somewhere around his shoulder blades. But I could still make him feel small, and held, and protected.

Being a short woman, I’m not most people’s idea of a powerful and domly body type. I could try to get around that. I could try to feed into my size kink by searching for people smaller than me. (There aren’t a ton of them, but they do exist.) Instead, I want to embrace it. I want to run at it full throttle and shove it in people’s faces and laugh at how wrong they are. I love the inversion of it. I love turning all expectations on their head. I love domming people who are bigger than me.