My favorite part is when he lets me finger him. I make him ask for what he wants, even though it embarrasses him. I want to hear him say how much he wants his Mommy, how empty he feels, how much he wants me to fuck him. I like rolling him onto his side while I finger him. He looks so vulnerable and small, all curled up in the fetal position, his cute little butt poking out so I can reach it. I tell him : “Mommy’s going to take good care of you,” and I’ve never meant anything more. He’s so open and exposed and trusting, god, so trusting, and it makes me want to keep him safe and close and never let anything hurt that trust.
I pull on the black gloves and open up the lube he likes best for butt stuff, tease around his hole with my wet finger. It’s to get him ready and comfortable, but also because I love making him wait. I love making him desperate. I love telling him that Mommy’s going to make him feel good if he just waits patiently like a good boy. Mommy know what’s best for you, Mommy knows what you need. I slowly slip one finger inside, and he lets out a breathy little gasp. If I’ve told him he can, his hand is wrapped around his cock, arm curled into his side. He moves his fingers and I move mine, fucking in a slow, even rhythm. With my left hand, I pet his naked back. I murmur how good he’s being, he’s taking it so well. He lets out a few small noises that are part whimper, part moan, and they excite me. I love how much he loves this, being slowly taken apart, lying back and doing as he’s told and getting rewarded for it.
I start thrusting very quickly, as fast as my arm can move, because I know he likes it and because it makes him make little keening noises that tell me it’s overwhelming, in the good way. He likes the way it feels, and I know I can do it exactly the way that will make him fall apart. He’s told me that he likes it better when I do it, that when he plays with his own hole it feels good, but not as good as when Mommy does it. It’s more fun for him when he’s not in control, when he doesn’t know what’s coming next. So I make it fun. I change the rhythm, go from short, quick, thrusts to deep slow long ones, taking advantage of the angle to push my finger in all the way down to my hand. I switch between fingers, playing with how much size I’ll give him. I give him just my fingertip, then the entire length. I giggle when I manage to surprise him, when he gasps at the sudden change and then keens because I’ve made him feel so good. I delight in how he lets me do whatever I want to his pretty hole, feel a rush of power from how in control I am. There’s also deep pressure to be nurturing, to use that power to make him feel good, to make him happy that he lets me do as I please with him. Mommy always gives her baby what he needs.
I slip his plug in while I grab my harness, so he doesn’t have to feel empty for even a moment. I watch him watch me as I pull the buttery soft leather strap taught and buckle it, his eyes big with anticipation. I pour lube on the dildo and stroke it with my fist a few times, as though it were my own cock. “Are you ready for Mommy to fuck you, little one?” He’s eager and excited, and I tell him to get on all fours. I line myself up behind him and work the plug out, replace it with the dildo and slide in to the hilt. I tell him to touch his pretty cock, that he can come whenever he wants while Mommy’s fucking him. I grip his hips with my hands and try to keep an even pace that’s fast enough to drive him crazy. I wonder if I could leave little fingerprint bruises on his hips, if he would know they’re little messages of how much his Mommy loves him. He’s lost in it and I love to watch him like this. He comes and I keep thrusting as he spills out onto the sheets, making a beautiful mess. What a good boy you are, I tell him. You did so well, I’m so proud of you.
I pull out and slip out of my harness, and he collapses on his side with a groan. I lie down on my back and pull him close so that his head is on my chest and my arms are around him. I want to keep him touching me, keep him close and safe. I pet his hair and his back and kiss his forehead as he breathes deeply, still in a hazy afterglow. I feel so close to him in this moment, like he’s opened himself up to me. He lets me take him apart and put him back together again, and trusts that I’ll keep him safe while I do. It’s astonishingly intimate, that kind of surrender from another human being. He murmurs out “You’re the best Mommy ever” and I laugh, but inside those words give me a surge of happiness. I adore this feeling, this loving, nurturing, powerful feeling that I get, and I love getting to be his Mommy Domme.
This is the first installment in The Daddy Diaries, a series on Daddy/Mommy kink, ageplay, my kink roles, and what they mean to me.