Fanfiction Roundup: Femslash


As much as I adore fanfiction, the community of fandom, and the wide variety of wonderful smut that is created, I gotta say: there’s a severe lack of femslash. This is a weird problem to have, and at least part of the reason for it is that most popular media is severely lacking in female characters. For femslash fanfic to happen, you need at least two female characters who are remotely compatible with each other, and many shows just don’t have that. Nevertheless, my queer ass has dug feverishly through the archives to bring you all some great lady on lady action. Let’s begin!

  1. We’re Friends When You’re On Your Knees by narceus (Teen Wolf): Lydia helps Allison de-stress by tying her up and giving her massages, and it turns out they both love the D/s of it all. I’m in love with the platonic bondage and the “oops we’re in a kink dynamic without planning on it.” The latter has definitely happened to me a few times. There’s a decent amount of plot in this one, mostly revolving around discovering power exchange and how much it helps them. Let’s just say I can relate.
  2. Straw and Roses by sapphocles (Harry Potter): This one is an adorably sweet and fluffy first-time fic. It’s so realistic how Ginny’s so captivated by and curious about Luna. And Luna pulls a fricken “I want to check you for ticks” schtick, except with Drawuths, and it’s hilarious and smoothly effective all at the same time. What can I say, I like porn with feelings sometimes.
  3. Solstice by battle_cat (Mad Max Fury Road): It’s New Year’s Eve, and Toast and Furiosa kiss at midnight and then go bang each other. Sexual tension, nervous excitement, intense horniness and muffling sex noises so the others don’t hear ensues. This is just some excellent fingerbanging, y’all.
  4. extra credit by kim47 (Teen Wolf): This one’s playful and fun. Allison asks Lydia for help with math, study session turns into fingerbanging session. I love how Lydia teases Allison about not being direct while she fucks her. I’ll take situations that have happened to me with a side of witty banter and vivid imagery any day.
  5. Cute Like You by Himaryan (Percy Jackson): In which Piper brats and whines about not wanting to write an essay until Annabeth takes charge and fucks her brains out. I like how Annabeth teases Piper, pulls her clothes off, and tells her she’s cute when she’s fucked out, it reads as light D/s to me. Includes beautiful descriptions of wetness and oral.
  6. (i don’t think they’ll) play this on the radio by evewithanapple (Mad Max Fury Road): In which Shakespeare is dirty and sexy, the clitoris is discovered, sexual trauma is overcome, and Dag and Cheedo have their first orgasms. Man, I really like first time fics and sexual self discovery, and the claiming of sexual autonomy after abuse strikes a chord. The whole getting off on Shakespeare makes me really happy as well, as a nerd who wants everyone to know how filthy his works were.
  7. Sex Ed With Ms Martin by SushiOwl (Teen Wolf, bad lesbian porn): In which Allison is curious, finds the kind of girl on girl porn that is clearly made by and for straight dudes, and Lydia takes it upon herself to show her better porn. I’m a fan of the “let me teach you how to have sex” trope, it plays into my innocent good girl persona who needs to be taught all the things. Also, I think it’s super sexy how Lydia just takes charge and rocks Allison’s world like it’s no big deal.

What are your favorite femslash fics?

Godemiche Ambit Review


Edit 8/14/17: Due to recent actions on the part of the owners of Godemiche, I can no longer support their company or their products. The Big Gay Review wrote a post which sums up my feelings on the situation; you can find that post here. The following review will remain on my blog in its original unedited form with one exception: I have removed all affiliate links to Godemiche products.

Y’all have no idea how excited I was to get my hands on the Godemiche Ambit. Godemiche is a two-person operation based in the UK, and when I discovered them, I was stunned by the gorgeous colors in their silicone toys. Unfortunately, their trademark dildo is out of my girth comfort zone. I emailed them asking if there was any chance they’d make a smaller one, and was told one was in the works and would be out in a few months. I was super excited, and proceeded to wait. Now, here it is!  I got the Ambit as a Christmas present from my partner, and I squealed an awful lot when I saw it.

First of all, this toy is so pretty. Mine is in “Bubblegun,” a marble of pink and silver. I initially thought that would be a weird combination, but I like the way it turned out. The pink peeks out from under the silver, and mine has a splash of pink down the center that I’m really into. Godemiche’s whole thing is simple dildos in beautiful colors: they have sparkly Gleam and Effulgent collections, tiny hearts suspended in the silicone, and, my favorite, their Galaxy and Nebula dildos. I’m a sucker for hand poured marbles and pretty colors, so big points for that.


The silicone has just a little bit more give than Tantus’s firm silicone; it’s more like Vixen Creations’ single density. It does have a tendency to get turned around in the vagina. There’s a small imprinted G at the base that I use to keep it lined up, but it’s difficult to think about that while there’s thrusting happening. For me, a dildo this size is in the “filling but comfortable” category. I’m a fan of the tapered tip because it definitely makes the Ambit easier to insert than similar sized toys with blunt heads, like the Tantus Echo.

This toy does good G-spot things. I like doing quick small thrusts on my G-spot with the ridge below the head, which delivers focused pressure and makes my G-spot very happy. The silicone is fairly bendy, so I sometimes need to push down on the base to get more direct contact with my G-spot, but it’s usually not much of an issue.

The design is similar to the Tantus Acute, with the flat head and small sloping curve. You might remember that I wasn’t super impressed with the Acute’s G-spotting abilities. It worked sometimes, but could be tricky to line up correctly and was too thin and bendy to apply very firm pressure. The Ambit is bigger, has more of a curve, and has a more dramatic ridge, which makes it a much better G-spotter.


The suction cup is very effective. I didn’t realize that the Ambits sold at SheVibe came with suction cups, but they do! It is a little picky about which surfaces it wants to stick to: it likes flat walls, smooth hardwood floors, and big tiles, but it won’t stick to tiles that are smaller than the suction cup or textured walls. Suction cup dildos aren’t my personal jam, I’d rather lie in my bed while masturbating than standing or crouching to ride a dildo. I’m a lazy masturbator. I tested it out though, and it stays put through vigorous thrusting and side to side action, and has to be peeled away from the wall. If you’re looking for a body safe dildo with a hardcore reliable suction cup, this is a great option. Or you could stick it to your head and pretend to be a unicorn, whatever floats your boat.

The Ambit has an intuitive design. It’s a solid G-spotter. It comes in pretty colors (including glitter and custom options). It’s made by an awesome small company that listens to their customers and takes them into account. Also, it’s only $35! That’s an excellent price for a hand poured silicone dildo. If you’re wanting an inexpensive moderate-sized G-spot toy, the Ambit is the dildo for you.

You can find the Ambit at SheVibe!

On Pregnancy, Shame, and Abstinence-Only Sex Education


I am a person with a uterus who does not want to have children. That is my decision to make about my own body, and I’m quite happy with it. Many other people have discussed how this is an autonomy issue, and how telling persons with uteruses that they’ll change their mind someday or that their life won’t be complete without children is profoundly sexist and part of controlling women’s bodies and women’s lives. We’re far from alone: the birth rate in my country has gone down, which is probably due to several factors including that women have gained more autonomy over their bodies and lives, access to contraception and abortion have improved, cost of raising a child has increased dramatically and my generation is already struggling with high costs of living. There’s another factor that I want to talk about today: abstinence-only sex education.

Like many other people in the United States, I grew up with abstinence-only sex ed. It did not cover contraception of any kind, safer sex barriers, or anything remotely approaching queer sex. Sex acts other than PIV were brought up only to tell us that you can still contract STIs from them (which is true), followed by a battery of propaganda on how STIs are incurable (true for some STIs) and will thoroughly and entirely ruin your life and your future (not true). The whole regime instilled me with shame and confusion regarding sex, and a profound lack of understanding regarding sexual pleasure. It also instilled me and my peers with a deep seated fear of pregnancy.

One day, I was sitting in my college Earth science class with a couple of acquaintances, the kind you don’t know very well but talk to occasionally and do classwork with. The class had a couple hundred students in it, and we sat at the back of the lecture hall. One of my acquaintances noticed a person a few rows down from us who was very clearly pregnant. Her reaction was something along the lines of “oh god how awful, poor thing, I’m so glad that isn’t me.” I responded that she didn’t know the pregnant person’s situation, and that they could be thrilled to be having a baby. That possibility literally had not occurred to my acquaintance. I was really struck by this moment. When did the de facto response to pregnancy change from “congratulations” to “I’m so sorry”? From “yay, a baby!” to “that’s got to be so hard for you”? Probably after young people spent years being told that sex and pregnancy were to be avoided at all costs, and that people who get pregnant are immoral, dirty, and wrong.

Something I’ve never understood is how these same people who advocate for abstinence-only in schools are the ones who still expect us to get married young and start popping out babies. They want to protect their children from the great sin of happy consensual sex, but then expect them to provide grandchildren by the age of 25. They teach teenagers that sex should scare them, and then say that sex is a required part of marriage and expect them to get on board. The things that you teach children have consequences. You can’t just flip a switch and expect eight years of being taught fear and shame surrounding sex and pregnancy to disappear and be replaced by a burning desire to have babies.

It’s okay if you want to have babies. It’s okay if you don’t. What isn’t okay is a system designed to influence people’s choices by making them afraid. Everyone should have access to complete, accurate information before making decisions about their lives and their bodies, and abstinence-only sex education does not even come close to that.