7 Reasons Why I Like Smut Better Than Porn

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My erotic fodder of choice has always been the written variety. I first discovered smut through dirty Harry Potter fanfiction, and I’ve been hooked ever since. I’ve dabbled in video porn, but it just doesn’t push my buttons the same way. Here are some reasons why I love smut so much.

  1. Plot and Buildup. In a written story, you can have a slow burn in a way that’s really hard to achieve with porn. There can be sexual tension and pining and desperation leading up to the hardcore sexy times. This is tricky to achieve in video porn, partially because the expectation of the industry is to have titillation right off the bat. I’m a big fan of writers who work in interesting plot and slow escalation in a way that would be logistically difficult for the average porn maker to film.
  2. Emotional Connections. This is especially true for fanfiction, but also for erotic novels or any smut where you get to know the characters really well. I like to care about the people I’m getting turned on by. I don’t want someone I’ve never heard of before, I want a person that I like. (This is also a reason I hear often for liking amateur performers better than mainstream ones, which I do.)
  3. Naked Bodies Don’t Turn Me On. What I find arousing is sex acts and kinks that I like, not human bodies. So the addition of visuals to video porn isn’t going to do much for me. In smut, the writer is forced to describe the sex that’s taking place, which often leads to gloriously detailed, in-depth imagery about the specific actions. This makes me a happy camper.
  4. Using My Imagination. One great thing about reading in general is that you can picture things exactly the way you want them. You’re not limited by what the studio had a budget for, or who they cast, or the camera angle they shot from. In smut, you can just let your brain run with it and show you exactly what you want to see.
  5. Impossible Fantasies. Some fantasies can’t be filmed. In smut, people can explore badwrong, illegal, or immoral fantasies in a way that is safe and does not actually hurt anyone. They can also explore things that are physically impossible, like knotting, or things that are terribly difficult to organize logistically, like gangbangs. In smut, you’re not limited by things like obscenity laws or physics or a performer’s stamina- you have free rein for your fantasies.
  6. Queer Female Perspectives. The majority of people writing fanfiction, including the smutty kind, are queer and/or female. I happen to be both of those things. Most mainstream porn is shot for the straight male gaze, which is just not me at all. While you can find queer and/or female perspectives in porn, especially the amateur or indie variety, smut allows me to enjoy more queer/female perspectives more easily.
  7. Avoiding Squicks. A “squick” is something that makes you uncomfortable or turns you off, which you would strongly prefer not to have in your porn. Something that squicks you out isn’t inherently wrong, it’s just not your cup of tea. In fanfiction, there’s a culture of tagging everything and giving warnings so that people can avoid their squicks as well as their triggers. Thanks to super thorough search engines and filtering systems, it’s so much easier than with porn to find smut that contains things you like and nothing you don’t.

What about you, do you prefer smut or porn? Why do you like your medium of choice?

Doxy Don Review

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The Don is a silicone plug-in vibrator made by Doxy. The bulb bit at the toy is 2.5″ long by 1.27″ wide, the toy overall is 7.5″ tall, and it has a 12 foot long power cord.

The motor in this toy is just astonishing. It’s jaw-droppingly good. When I first felt it, in my fave brick and mortar sex toy store, I couldn’t believe how deep, low, and rumbly it felt, and I’m thrilled to be able to report that it translated to feeling good on my bits. On lots of toys, as you increase the vibration strength, the quality of vibration gets more and more buzzy. This is why I generally tend to use lower settings more, the rumbliness just feels so much better and more stimulating, and gets me off better. The Don somehow manages to keep the rumbliness on its higher settings, and even if you turn it all the way up, never gets uncomfortably sharp and buzzy. The first setting on the Magic Wand Rechargeable has been my gold standard for strong, rumbly vibrations for months now. One day during testing I switched from the Don to the MWR, and I was stunned by how much less rumbly the MWR felt in comparison. The Don’s lowest setting is also much less strong than the MWR, and I really appreciate that. It gives me a gentle place to start, instead of shocking my vulva with intense vibrations right off the bat. The body of the toy does vibrate quite a bit, but I didn’t find it bothersome to hold because the vibrations didn’t make my fingers itchy or numb. The shape of this toy may be odd, but it would be hard to dislike any toy with a motor this good.

I really like broad stimulation on my clitoris: think rubbing with the heel of your palm instead of one fingertip. For me, putting just the bulb on my clit felt really pinpoint and intense, and if I wasn’t ready for it, it was overstimulating and painful. Especially for warming up, I  like to use the Don with the wider part against my clitoris and the bulb elsewhere on my vulva, usually around my vaginal opening. As I get more aroused, then I can place the bulb directly on my clit, enjoy the focused stimulation, and have strong orgasms. It takes a bit more time to gently work my way up, so the Don isn’t very good for quickies. If I have the time and the patience, the strong rumbles deliver deep, strong orgasms, which is a pretty good trade off.

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The Don is marketed as an anal vibrator, so naturally I had to stick it up my butt. It is anal safe, but the design isn’t like any other butt toy I’ve ever seen. With the bulb portion inserted, there’s this big thing hanging out of my butt. It’s way too big to sit down or lay down with this giant cylinder in between your butt cheeks, so I just kind of crouched awkwardly. The nubby bit on the flat top pressed against my perineum in that position, which felt nice, and the rumbliness is also good inside the butt. But it’s just awkward and uncomfortable to hold this big old toy just to have a small one inch part of it up the butt. The insertable portion is too small and bulbous to thrust, so it just kinda hangs out there. If Doxy wants to put this motor in a more anal-friendly design, I’d be all for it, but the Don is not successful as an anal vibrator.

I also tried the Don with the bulb in my vagina and the nubby bit on or near my clit. The angle required for this means the bulb doesn’t hit my G-spot because it’s pointed towards the back wall of my vagina instead of the front. Internally, the bulb doesn’t do much for me. The nubby part does reach my clit just fine, and I can get off that way. But if I’m gonna put something inside my vagina, any of my favorite dildos are going to be more stimulating and more comfortable than that hard short bulb.

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A couple of quibbles: I don’t really understand why the toy starts on the middle setting, and then I have to turn it down to get to the lowest one before I start. The controls are separate from the toy itself, so they often get turned around and I end up turning the Don up when I meant to turn it off. The cord that connects the toy to the controls is constantly tangled up with the cord that connects the controls to the plug. I love that the buttons are large, clearly labeled, easy to push, and light up when pushed and when the toy is plugged in, but the above three points mean I still get confused by or frustrated with the controls sometimes.

Overall, the Don has the best, most rumbly motor I have ever come in contact with. It’s a bit odd to hold and a bit awkward to insert anally, but the vibrations are delicious and do excellent things to my clitoris. If you want deep, rumbly vibrations with a wide range of strength settings, stimulation that is neither super pinpoint nor super broad, and have an outlet within twelve feet of where you’ll be having sex, the Don is a great choice.

Additionally, the Don has a fabulously low price for a vibrator this good: you can pick one up for $89.99 USD at SheVibe!

Thank you to Doxy North America for sending me the Doxy Don free of charge in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.

On Achievements of 2016 and Plans for 2017

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Happy New Year! On June 20th, I went ahead and launched my blog, and it’s been just over six months since then. Time has flown!

First off, a recap of the past year. Sex toys were a huge part of my life in 2016. I first discovered them late in 2015, but this past year is when I really got into them. They’ve expanded the sexual experiences I have and given me something to geek over and get excited about. These are my top three toys of 2016:

  1. Best Vibe- The Magic Wand Rechargeable: I got this in March and it drastically changed my masturbating habits. It’s my old reliable, big, strong, best used through a couple of blankets, and lets me have orgasms while sitting in a chair. Definitely gets the most use out of all the toys I own.
  2. Best Dildo- Tantus Echo: This dildo was a birthday present to myself, and it’s my favorite G-spotter so far. Those ridges are firm, intense, require lots of warm-up, and make my G-spot do amazing things. Makes me come too soon, A+, would recommend.
  3. Best Kink- KinkCraft Mini Flogger: My partner prefers this flogger to our other impact toys because it’s so easy to wield. I love the little red welts it gives me. Also, I had lots of fun making it myself and it’s a pretty bright blue! It’s hard to beat that (pun totally intended.)

Besides sex toys, I wrote some stuff I’m really proud of this year. This blog is a space for me to talk about topics that are important to me, and to try to help others understand my perspective. Here are the top three posts in which I really feel like I achieved that:

  1. On Being in the Closet: I wrote this after the election, when I and a lot of my friends were terribly scared. People were talking a lot about hiding, and the closet, and I wanted to show why I never want to go back into the closet.
  2. I Didn’t Know They Were Called Orgasms: I grew up with very limited sex education, and it took me years to connect the concept of orgasm to a thing that actually happens to my body. I spent a long time feeling scared, confused, and wrong, and I want people to know that was a direct result of incomplete and biased education.
  3.  On Self Care and Motivation: This is a deeply personal post about how I try to convince myself that I am worth taking care of. For me, self care is often really hard, and I think it’s okay to do odd things if they will help you feel better.

Second off, my goals and plans for 2017. I’m excited to dive even deeper into the world of sex toys. It feels like there’s still so much out there to explore, and that’s invigorating. These are three types of toys I want to play with this year:

  1. Larger Toys: Much of 2016 involved my journey from not being able to penetrate my vagina at all to being able to enjoy PIV sex with my current partner. I’m still fairly limited in the toys I use. I want to try larger butt plugs especially because my butt has proved itself to be much more accommodating to being stretched than my vagina, and I’d like to do more with that. Right now I’m maxing out at around 1.5″ diameter for both of those orifices, so I want to try toys that are 1.75″ (or maybe larger). Because I love soft silicone, I’ve got my eye on some larger dual density toys like the Tantus Uncut #1 and the Vixen Bandit.
  2. Kink Stuff: I’ve reviewed a few pieces of kink gear, and I own some that I have yet to review, but there’s so much I haven’t tried yet. I want to try more sensations. I know I love my flogger from KinkCraft and a good old fashioned open handed spanking,  I don’t own a single paddle! I’d be very open to reviewing a few (or several) paddles in 2017. I’d love to try other floggers as well, and I think KinkCraft’s large flogger kit would be another cool project. As well as impact play, I’d be open to trying more bondage gear, other collars, or maybe wax play.
  3. Vibrators: The Magic Wand Rechargeable might be the best thing since sliced bread, but I’d really like to branch out a bit. I only own five vibrators, three of which are battery-operated and buzzy, so I never use them anymore. The only G-spot vibrator I’ve tried was cheap and had obnoxiously high pitched vibrations, and therefore a good G-spot vibe is right at the top of my list. Also, despite how prolific small clit vibes are, I don’t actually own any yet. I’m really hoping some vibes from WeVibe and L’amourose find their way into my toybox this year!

This is cheating the three things rule, but I also want to try wooden toys. It’s the only body safe material I haven’t gotten to yet, and I recently discovered Lumberjill Leisurecrafts’ work, which I find absolutely gorgeous. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I get to try a whole bunch of cool toys this year!

I also have some other ideas about and goals for the writing I want to do this year:

  1. More Personal Posts: There are several topics that I haven’t yet talked about on this blog that are important to me.I haven’t written much about being on the asexuality spectrum, or my daddy kink, or being a switch and dating a switch. I want to write about what being a little girl and a Mommy Domme means to me. I’ve written almost twice as many reviews as other kinds of posts, and while there’s nothing wrong with that, I don’t think I want to be a review-centric blog. I hope to find a better balance next year and keep my reviews down to half of my posts at most.
  2. More Content, More Regularly: My goal for 2017 is to write 36 solid posts that I’m proud of. To achieve that, I want to publish three posts a month, all year long. In the past six months, I’ve published 22 posts: 14 were reviews and 8 were personal thoughts. I’m pretty proud of that! I’m still just getting started as a blogger. I’m in college full time and I work part time, which means I have limited ability to write. That’s okay, I can still make good content, even if I’m not making huge amounts of it. I do want to get better at spreading my posts out, instead of lots of posts when I have time and very few posts when I’m busy.
  3. Have Fun! This blog is a labor of love. There’s no point to doing it if I’m not enjoying myself. I want to prioritize content that I enjoy and that I care about, learn about myself and my needs, and share my thoughts with the world. For all my goals and plans and structure, I still believe the most important part is that I continue enjoying and having fun with this weird awesome hobby that I’ve discovered. So if what makes me happy changes partway through the year, I hereby give myself permission to let my blog change with it.

What were your favorite toys this year? Got any goals and plans for 2017?