Review: Tails and Portholes Leviathan


The Leviathan is made by artisan dildo maker Brandie Harris of Tails and Portholes on Etsy. All the toys are hand-poured, unique, have gorgeous colors, and are mermaid themed. The Leviathan is her tentacle dildo- you can’t have a deep-sea creatures themed dildo store without a tentacle toy! This one is pink and white with glitter, in a solid soft firmness. It has a usable length of 5.75″, the head is 2″ diameter and the shaft is 2.25″.

The Leviathan is my first fantasy dildo! I have abstract toys and penis-shaped toys, but this is the first time I’ve tried anything based off a fantasy creature. This toy is so pretty. I love the way that the white part is striped down the front, where all the suction cups are. It makes it look as though it were really some kind of cephalopod, which I’m into. If you’d rather something else, Brandie does all kinds of custom colorations. Check out her tumblr to see all the pretty dildos! The Leviathan is quite heavy for a silicone toy, probably due to the large, chunky base. This is the softest silicone that I have ever encountered, it’s just amazingly squishy. It’s even softer than New York Toy Collective’s bendable toys, and that’s saying something. This toy also comes in dual density or in solid firm.


It comes with a sheer shiny storage bag.

This is a really interesting design. There are many tentacle dildos, but they are usually long, thin, and pointed at the end, like an actual tentacle. The Leviathan has a pointed tip, but then it has a flared head with pointed sides, the likes of which I’ve never seen on a sex toy before. The girth increases rapidly as you get further toward the base. Personally, I cannot insert the toy all the way to its base, I get about halfway. I’m really  okay with that, because I think the weird head is the star of this toy.


So let’s talk about this head, because it’s pretty freakin unique. It’s angled forwards and has two fins that jut out towards the sides. The front of the head curves in. There’s a decrease in girth immediately below the head, so there’s a distinct pop when the head pushes in. You might remember that I wasn’t a fan of sharp popping sensations with firm materials in my butt. In the vagina, with softer silicone, it’s not nearly as intense of a sensation, and I don’t find it unpleasant at all. It’s more of an achievement. The sides to stick out quite a bit, which causes some stretching of the sides of my vagina that I wasn’t used to. That’s the point of fantasy toys, though: to try out new and interesting sensations. In any case, it didn’t bother me, and created a nice sensation of fullness.


Because the silicone is so soft, the curve at the head can easily be straightened out. If you looked at that head and thought “g-spotting!” well, maybe. In harder firmnesses the head might keep its shape better and push into the g-spot. In solid soft, the head gently pushes against my g-spot due to sheer size.In my sessions, I liked to insert the head, line it up with my g-spot, and squeeze around it. There’s something very satisfying about squeezing something and feeling it compress, it’s like playing with a stress ball. It’s extra fun when squishing the thing causes it to gently nudge the g-spot. It’s not an intense g-spot tool like my Tantus Echo, and if you need firm, targeted pressure, it’s probably  not going to fit that bill. If you like fullness and soft pressure on your g-spot, this toy is a good time. This also isn’t a dildo for thrusting: because it’s rather floppy, has such sharp angles, and the base is hard to get a good grip on, the best I could manage was little wiggles. Personally, I preferred keeping it still and clenching.

In this firmness, the toy can be bent in half, which led to a fun discovery. While the head was inside of me, I bent the base towards my vulva so that I could feel the suction cup texture. That was a fun sensation, and I recommend trying it to anyone else who enjoys grinding on things. On the inner wall of my vagina, the texture is pretty undetectable, at least with silicone this soft. If you can insert this toy all the way, you might get more texture internally, because the suction cups are larger and more pronounced towards the bottom. Otherwise, I suggest going for the solid firm option if you’re really interested in feeling suction cups inside you.


Overall, I think this is a great toy. It’s definitely a departure from penis-like toys, it’s well designed, and it created some cool unique sensations. You can also get a harder firmness or the mini version if big or soft dildos are not your kind of party. I recommend this toy to anyone who’s comfortable with the size, enjoys funky bulbous heads, and wants a custom tentacle of their very own.

You can get the Leviathan from Tails and Portholes!

The Leviathan was sent to me free of charge in exchange for an honest unbiased review. Thank you, Tails and Portholes!


On Sadness, My Sex Life, and Being a Whole Person


A love of lipstick and a passion for sex toys: only two of the innumerable things that make up who I am.

Recently, Fist You Podcast did an episode about sex and sadness, in which they discussed how being sad affects their personal sex lives. In it, they talk about how we like to think of our sex lives as separate from our emotional lives, but that idea is just wildly inaccurate. We are whole people, and emotions and sex are part of us. They can each influence the other, as can a whole host of other things. It’s a great episode and you should give it a listen. It got me thinking about how my sex life is affected by my various emotional states and vice versa, and I wanted to share my thoughts on the subject. Everything that follows is my own lived experiences and not meant to dictate how you ought to feel or behave.

When I’m stressed, I tend to get much hornier. It’s like my body wants to find a way to release the built up tension and is craving the good, relaxed, euphoric feeling that I get immediately after orgasm. Part of that means that while I’m really horny, I don’t really want to engage in partner sex or lengthy masturbation sessions that much. I rush towards a quickie orgasm instead, which isn’t always as satisfying as a longer session. But settling down to hours of drawn-out, exploratory play requires a level of relaxation that I just cannot muster when I’m stressed. I can’t help feeling like that time is better spent working on the things that I need to be doing, because I’m supposed to be productive and then I won’t have to think about it anymore.

Sometimes this feels like a breakdown in self care. I only have time for so much, so my sexual well-being falls to the wayside because it’s easier to ignore than pressing deadlines. I don’t like that I do this, though, and I want to work towards changing it. I feel neglected, but the only person neglecting me is me.  Another thing that happens is that sometimes I will just completely forget about my sex drive. I won’t feel consciously horny, but I’ll be stressed and tense and grumpy. And then I’ll have an orgasm and realize that’s what my body needed all along, I just wasn’t listening to it.

Sadness is a bit different. When I am sad, the kind of release I crave is crying, not orgasm. I believe that pain demands to be felt. Sadness requires time alone, in my own head, to process it and feel it and let myself be sad. I can’t imagine a positive sexual experience when I am busy feeling my feelings. It’s an emotional task, to work through that sadness and let myself cry it out. Usually, this is a good thing. Sometimes I have trouble stopping, and I fall into a downward spiral of sitting alone being sad doing nothing but thinking about being sad, which makes me more sad. To break this cycle, I have to distract myself. That distraction usually takes the form of a book or other quiet, solitary activity, at least at first, when I am still bursting into tears at intervals and can’t quite keep the sadness away. Later, when I am not quite so upset, I can go out and do happy things to distract myself, including spending time with people that I love, working on projects, or having sex.

I wanted to talk about this deeply personal aspect of my life because I think it needs to be talked about. I am a whole person and there are an infinite number of parts of me that make up who I am. My sexuality is part of that, and it affects and informs the rest of me. It shouldn’t be disregarded, especially not when discussing emotional health.

How do emotions affect your sexuality? Are you comfortable with that, or is it something you want to try to change?