In Which I Compare Lube to Watermelon: Good Clean Love Almost Naked Review


Man, I really wanted to love this lube. Good Clean Love Almost Naked comes in a bright green, gender neutral bottle, it’s completely body safe, and it smells like heaven. It’s incredibly thick for a water based lube without getting clumpy, and it’s my partner’s lube of choice for anal play.It smells kinda like vanilla, it’s a bit sweet but not overpoweringly sugary. It lasts a wonderfully long time, which is great for pegging. It goes on smooth and stays on thick.

But, oh my lord, is it ever sticky. I hate sticky things of all kinds. I always have to wash up after eating candy, and I will turn down watermelon slices, even though it’s delicious, because I know that it will get all over my chin and annoy me until I can scrub the stickiness off of my face. Almost Naked is one of the stickiest lubes I have ever come into contact with. After using it, I had to get a damp towel and wash off my vulva because it was driving me crazy to have my labia stuck together from the dried lube. It’s not just sticky after it dries, it starts to become sticky as it is drying, so it feels like I’m using syrup instead of lube. Reapplying does not stop the stickiness, it just feels like the syrup has gotten thicker and heavier.

I love the colorful, minimalist packaging. I love the body safety and eco-friendliness. I love how the smell lingers on my fingers for hours after using it. I will happily use it to finger and peg my partner. But the stickiness is this lube’s fatal flaw, and you better keep it the hell away from my genitals.

It is entirely possible that you will not mind the stickiness as much as I do. I am aware that some people are not bothered by getting watermelon juice all over their faces, hands, and shirts, and similarly, many people swear by this lube. It is just not for me.

If stickiness doesn’t bother you, get a tube of this delicious smelling lube at SheVibe. If you’re more like me, I recommend Sliquid Sassy, which you can find here.


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